My Letter

Dear Mommy Monster (aka @ladygaga),

   I’m not really sure how to start this letter as I’ve never really written anything like this before, so I apologize in advance if you hate it.

 I guess I should probably start by telling you a little about myself? My name is Kelsey (twitter handle @xGagasAngelx), and I’m 23 years-old.  I’ve been a fan of your music since the beginning. I was in my study abroad year in London when “The Fame” first came out, and I remember my friends and I jumping up and down and screaming every time they played “Just Dance” at our favorite night club. However, I didn’t become a “verified lil monster” until a bit later during a really difficult time of cyberbullying. That’s actually why I’m writing, to thank you for being an inspiration to me and giving me strength during that time.

   The summer before my last year of my undergraduate degree (August of 2009), my grandpa passed away. When school started that Fall, I was still going through the grieving process and not exactly in a good place. Rather than support me, however, a few of my sorority sisters started spreading rumors that I wasn’t  grieving, but just being an attention whore. The cyberbullying started with just a few Facebook messages but eventually escalated to the point where I was constantly bombarded by texts and emails from those same sorority sisters telling me how much they hated me and how they wanted me to kill myself. I’m the shy, quiet type and had joined the sorority as a way to make friends at the large university, so when I started getting those mean messages, I felt really alone. I refused  to get out of bed, stopped eating, and would spend all day crying and wondering what was wrong with me. I ended up moving back home to Georgia hoping that once I moved across the country, the messages would finally stop. But they didn’t. After changing my cell number three times, my email twice, and setting super strict security settings on my Facebook page, every once and a while, they were still able to get the hurtful messages through. I was surviving, but still felt like there was something wrong with me or that I needed to change myself to make things better. It was also frustrating that everyone else in my life assumed that once I moved back home, I would immediately forget everything. They didn’t understand why, months later, it was still hurting me, and kept telling me I was crazy.

           This is where you come in J In the beginning of March, after getting a particularly hurtful message, I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to keep living. That’s when my mom sat me down and played “Born This Way” for me. She made me listen closely to the lyrics and then told me all about how you had been bullied too. This sounds kind of crazy, but I think that’s when it first sunk in that I wasn’t alone in the way I was feeling. She also told me about how you have said that bullying is something that affects you your whole life and how the emotional scars don’t just go away. That was a huge relief as well. I was tired of having people ask me, “Why can’t you just get over it already!?!”, and it was nice to know that someone, even someone who I technically don’t know, understood.

           Ever since that day, I’m proud to be a little monster. Whenever I’m having a bad day or a particularly weak moment, listening to your song lyrics always reminds me to be strong and to keep fighting. It’s also inspiring that you have achieved such a successful career. Thinking of that reminds me that just because I was bullied in the past, it doesn’t mean my life will always be that way, and that maybe someday I will accomplish great things too.

Thank you so much Mommy Monster! You are truly my idol and have helped me more than you will ever know! ily <3 

-Kelsey